My Mom Died While I Was Covering COVID. It Changed My Views on Grief

Washington Post reporter Lena Sun reflects on her evolving relationship with grief in her personal essay, “My Mom Died While I Was Covering COVID. It Changed My Views on Grief.” Sun lost her mother early in the pandemic, in late April 2020, while reporting on the COVID-19 crisis as a prominent public health and infectious disease journalist. Her work, which scrutinized the U.S. government and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)’s initial response to the outbreak, became profoundly personal when her elderly mother contracted the virus and died, underscoring the consequences of public health failures during Donald Trump’s presidency.

In her essay, Sun explores how this experience reshaped her understanding of grief, distinguishing the emotion from the process of mourning. Balancing the demands of the pandemic, she struggled to find time to mourn, feeling guilty about what she perceived as neglecting her mother’s memory. Seeking clarity, Sun consulted neuroscientist Mary-Frances O’Connor, who framed grieving as essential for processing the reality of death.

The losses continued when Sun’s sister, Anna, died from late-stage pancreatic cancer in the summer of 2022. As Sun reflects on these compounded tragedies, she is reassured that her efforts to maintain a sense of normalcy amid such profound loss are not neglectful, but a common response to major grief, particularly in the context of a pandemic that disrupted traditional mourning rituals.

Through this journey, Sun comes to understand the importance of active grieving. Going through her mother’s belongings, she reaffirms the necessity of engaging with the grieving process—not just for her own sake, but as a way to honor the memory of her mother and sister.